Scott M. Sandridge

A Work in Progress

My Adventure at Fandom Fest

In the usual weird-things-always-happen-on-my-way-to-a-convention fashion I spent the bus ride from Columbus to Cincinnati on a bus that smelled like an outhouse due to maintenance not cleaning the crapper tank, possibly because a massive wind came out of nowhere followed by a torrential downpour as soon as my bus arrived to the station. My Bus Ride from Hell continued through a tornado zone that left the bus delayed due to a traffic jam. But at least I got to see a semi truck laying several feet from the road with its front cabin crumpled like a wadded up piece of paper—an interesting image and one likely to end up in a story some day.

The Cinci to Louis bus ended up three hours late, this on top of a two hour lay-over. Not too bad since I got to spend the time with a couple Iraq vets. We avoided boredom by performing a Three Stooges routine followed up by a game of bloody knuckles. They also described to me an interesting new game they learned in Iraq: I believe it involved an auto grenade launcher and a crate of bean bags….

And all these years I thought Bottle Rocket War could get painful. Silly me.

By the time I arrived at the Galt House (I’ll let other folk blog about the problems with that hotel) it was around 3 am Saturday morning. Since I didn’t have the money for a room, I did what I normally do in that situation; I did the catnaps-in-bathroom-stall-while-avoiding-the-security-guards shuffle.

Got my badge, etc., around 9 or so. At which point I was locked, cocked, and ready to rock.

There were quite a few crickets on the literary panels I was on, and it seems that was pretty much standard for the whole entire literary program track. The plus side was that 10,000 people came to see Bruce Campbell. The downside was that apparently 9,990 of them came only to see Bruce Campbell.

Ah well. Shit happens.

I still managed to sell and sign a couple anthos there, so I’m not complaining. Especially since I can say that H. David Blalock got my autograph. 🙂

The major plus was all the cool writers I got to meet and hang out with, like Selah Janel and D.A. Adams, the Zimmster, Shrews, Charlie Kenmore, Gary Wedlund, Maurice Broaddus, Michael West, Alexx Miller, Marian Allen, TammyJo Eckhart, and many many more (If I forgot your name, drop me a comment and I’ll add it—yes, I’m still that hung over). I also got to party with Paul West and Taylor Kent, and Taylor let me crash in his room and even fed me, and bought my drinks.

You rock, Snarky!

There wasn’t a con suite with free food like at the other conventions I attend, so I didn’t exactly come prepared. If it weren’t for Snarky and Zimmster I probably would’ve starved to death.

You rock, Zimmster!

And a whole lot of interesting discussions went on, ranging from spec-fic stuff to political stuff and other intellectual stuff and…stuff….

Yeah, it’s been two days since I got home and I still feel hung over.

Overall, I had a blast, despite the hotel preventing simple basic things that could’ve made the convention more successful marketing-wise. Oh, and the hotel upping the parking price on everyone at the last minute. :/

Good thing I didn’t come by car.

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July 4, 2012 Posted by | Writerly Updates | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Superheroes are Insane

Today my thoughts drifted to a silly little movie called Kickass. I recalled how some folk didn’t like the movie, claiming they were disturbed by how psychotic such young “superhero” kids were. Today I thought, aren’t all superheroes nuts? After all, let’s face it: nobody sane would ever be a superhero.

Yes. Superheroes are insane. Very insane.

Wolverine and the Hulk are classic examples of two individuals with very severe anger management problems. Wolverine has a bad habit of going berserk, and has even attacked his own friends before. And the Hulk, well….

If a person without superpowers acted like that, they’d be in prison. But what would a cop do to Wolverine or the Hulk? Stand in their way and shout stop or I’ll shoot? Hardly.

And what about Daredevil? A blind man fighting crime, how insane is that? And it’s worse. Daredevil is so convinced that everyone he tries to prosecute is guilty that even if he loses the case (and when has he ever won a case? He must be the worst lawyer in all of human history), he will hunt that “criminal” down and beat the shit out of him. Now what do you suppose Daredevil would do if he lost a prosecution case against an 84-year-old woman in a wheelchair? Go beat her up, of course! “She’s not what she seems! It’s all a disguise! And I can prove it! look at all the blood! How can Grandma bleed that much??!!”

And yes, even Spider-man is a loony tune. He goes on and on and on about how with great power comes great responsibility, and yet he’s constantly complaining about having to drop what he’s doing to go save some damsel in distres. ‘Cause gosh darn it! Now he’s late for his date with a girl whose name is synonymous with weed! Narcissist? Closet pot-smoker?

Thor. Talk about a man with a god complex….

And let’s not forget Reed Richards. All his condemning of Dr. Doom is like the pot calling the kettle black. What’s so different about them, really (other than Dr. Doom looks a whole lot cooler)? They’re both mad scientists. They’re both obsessed with their research to the point where they often neglect everyone else around them. Okay, okay, Dr. Doom is a tyrant dictator ruling over a country and probably drowns cute little kittens for fun. But let’s face it, the only reason Richards isn’t drowning those kittens along with him is because the bad PR would hurt his company’s bottom line. And so, he gets his rocks off by beating up on Dr. Doom instead, ’cause being a hero is profitable!

And you know who else profits off beating up poor defenseless “villains”? Batman, that’s who! This guy is obsessed with hunting down mentally deranged people, beating the crap out of them, and dragging them to Arkam Asylum. Why always Arkam Asylum? Surely there’s other asylums in the city, possibly some that are much closer to where he beat the poor crazy guy in the jester costume up, but yet he always takes them to Arkum. It ain’t no coincidence he’s a billionaire “philanthropist” who just so happens to dress up in a bat costume to beat up other crazies in costumes and always, always, drags them kicking and screaming to the exact same asylum. He’s getting kickbacks for it! Duh! Why else do all those insane costumed “criminals” keep breaking out of the place so easily!

And this is why I always root for the supervillains. They might be insane megalomaniacs, and evil to the core, but at least they’re honest about it!

Toodledoo!

November 30, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments